Effective July 4, 2009, Iowa’s listing input field for “garage” will be changed to “gararge.” The governing board decided to implement this change to reflect the local language. According to the board, “Us Iowans need to stick together to preserve our linguistic heritage. Them realitors (REALTORS) up in Minnesota should know that we won’t tolerate them imposing their way of life on us. Everyone knows the proper way to pronounce the word for the shed is ‘gararge’ so the spelling of the mls listing field needed to be corrected.” To commemorate the changes, the governing board will be giving out Bubbles Car Warsh coupons to the first 50 real estate agents who enter their listings after the ruling has been implemented.
Language has been a trigger issue for all sides of the Iowa culture wars. Last year, “Ebonics”, a portmanteau of “ebony” and “phonics”, was rejected as acceptable curriculum because the Secretary of Edumacation thought all children should learn to speak “American” as a primary language, although elective courses in “Mexican” language would be available. Socially conservative Iowans are promoting the instruction of “Ibonics” (pronounced eye-bonics,) which is actually the official language of the state. The term “Ibonics” is constructed from the words “Iowa” and “phonics,”" although no one really knows where the “b” came from. Ibonics is characterized by a preponderance of imaginary “R’s”.
In other MLS news, the listing input field for “lake” has already been removed. This was inevitable, because there are no lakes in Iowa. If you enter listing data, you will be given two checkboxes; one says “Okoboji” and the other says “Not Okoboji. The field “lake views” will be replaced by “atrazine runoff zone.”
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